Dear Elijah, Anyah, Amari, Xavier,
God chose me to bring all of you into this world.
Sometimes I wonder why He chose me.
I was a young mother.
Making MANY mistakes.
I often feel regret.
Because you were brought into my instability.
I was looking for love.
But found it all in the wrong places and people.
I couldn’t see that love was right there in my face.
In the faces of the four of you.
I am deeply sorry.
All of you deserved so much better.
You deserved a very present mother.
I was there but not there.
I was stuck in my own darkness.
My mother instincts were barely kicking in.
But in spite of it all, the four of you are absolutely amazing!
You guys inspire me.
Your hearts are so pure.
The love you have for me.
I dont derserve it.
The continents are waiting.
Waiting for your footsteps.
Your hearts will touch other hearts.
I am so proud of each of you.
The future is very bright for each of you.
I ask that you will allow me a small space in your hearts.
I pray that my life has taught you what not to do!
Learn from my mistakes.
Help others.
Be joyful.
Be whole.
Laugh.
Love.
Live.
I pray that each of you can find it to forgive me.
You guys are the true MVP’s!
Love,
-Mom